Ten players I hope Paul Lambert doesn’t sign for Norwich City this summer

Norwich are in the Premier League so let the rumour mill commence. We’ve already been linked with all kinds of players and I am sure every Norwich fan has contemplated his dream summer signings. While we can all sit back and watch to see who comes in to Carrow Road over the next 100 or so days, there are plenty of players I for one hope we don’t sign. Based on past signings and the kind of players that seem to join newly promoted clubs of Norwich stature, I’ve compiled a top ten list for fun of the men I hope we don’t see waving a Norwich scarf in front of the media this summer.

Ten: Matthew Upson, 32, West Ham.
I’ve never really seen the big deal with Upson but he qualifies as he’s Norfolk-born, probably going down with West Ham and has been the subject of rumours from the Premier League big boys for a while.
A year ago Upson was the joint England top scorer at the World Cup and rumoured to be wanted by Roy Hodgson at Liverpool. After an injury-hit year he’s done little to enhance his reputation from last year and with the Hammers facing relegation, it’s likely he’ll be sold by those lovely characters on the Hammers board.
Why would it be wrong to go for Upson? There are cheaper defenders to be unearthed elsewhere. Signing Leon Barnett would mean far more to us City fans rather than a weary, injury-hit pro who has seen better days. Signing someone like Upson would feel a little bit like signing Thomas Helveg again.

Nine: Emmerson Boyce, 31, Wigan.
I remember clearly the complete lack of joy I felt at our signings in the summer of 2004, with Simon Charlton’s arrival from Bolton the ultimate lowlight. I’m sure there’s going to be a player who arrives this summer that will leave us City fans wondering quite why they were signed and for me, the likes of Emerson Boyce at Wigan typify that sort of player.
There’s always a Damien Francis/Hermann Hreidarsson who is happy to flee relegated teams in order to stay in the Premier League and a season at Norwich is now a desirable shop window for any professional to sit in for a year.
Signing a Premier League regular like Boyce or Titus Bramble/Danny Gabbidon/Jody Craddock would do nothing for the morale of the club. I’m sure Paul Lambert wouldn’t go down this route but we’ve been down this road before – remember Steve Walsh!

Eight: Craig Mackail-Smith, 27, Peterborough.
City dodged a massive bullet by not picking him up in March in order to propel us into the Premier League. Simeon Jackson did the job for us and saved the club £3m. While he’s knocked goals in for fun in League One last season, a move for someone with only one season of Championship experience isn’t advisable. If we want a regular lower league goalscorer from last term with limited Championship pedigree then let’s just play Cody McDonald and save the cash for someone else.Ask any City fan who they’d rather see coming on at Old Trafford or Anfield and I think everyone would say Cody any day.

Seven: David Bentley, 26, Tottenham.
One of my overriding memories of the 2004/05 campaign was sitting in the Craven Cottage sunshine in the final minutes of our last Premier League season and watching Bentley and Damien Francis smirk at Norwich’s desperate situation.
Norwich were 6-0 down at Fulham and while Adam Drury was almost in tears, Francis and Bentley seemed to be slightly embarrassed yet not too bothered at City’s demise. Both knew they wouldn’t have to slog in out in the Championship the following season.
Since then, Bentley’s career has stuttered and stalled, briefly promising to burst into life at Blackburn but he failed at Tottenham and hasn’t done anything special on loan at Birmingham.
I hope beyond all else that we don’t sign someone like Bentley. I don’t expect him to be high on Paul Lambert’s shopping list, but he stands for exactly what we don’t need: a hunger less washed-up pro who thinks his status in the game is far bigger than it is. A bit like Mark Fotheringham really. Norwich isn’t about players like that, especially in the Premier League.

Six: James Beattie, 33, Rangers.
The one player I’m sure Grant Holt will be compared to next season by all those Premier League experts who don’t really know much about Norwich City or Grant Holt is James Beattie. Similar build, similar style, just one is on the up and the other is on the way down career wise.
Beattie’s officially a Rangers player on loan at Blackpool where he’s been since the final day of the January transfer window and hasn’t scored yet. He hasn’t actually scored a competitive goal since October 2009 when he was at Stoke and he’ll be 34 during next season.
I accept we’ll probably need strikers as back up for Simeon Jackson and Holt but James Beattie? No thanks.

Five: Shaun Wright-Phillips, 29, Manchester City.
A player who will almost certainly be on the move this summer – SWP was linked with a move to City in the transfer window which was probably false but certainly made the Ruel Fox Hall of Fame banner at Carrow Road start to shake uncontrollably with rage.
However ridiculous that rumour was or not, he’s not wanted by Manchester City and with the club in the Champions League and with cash galore to spend, SWP would probably relish a move to any Premier League club next season.
SWP would be such a wrong move, coming down here and unsettling our club spirit with his big time antics and, god forbid, his dad suddenly becoming an honorary Norwich fan.
SWP – go to West Ham, that’s the sort of over-hyped under-achieving club that would suit you. And besides we’ve got Anthony McNamee anyway.

Four: Kris Boyd, 27, Middlesbrough.
Cash-strapped Middlesbrough’s big early season signing struggled to do anything at the Riverside Stadium and promptly was loaned out to Nottingham Forest once Boro’s chances of getting into the play-offs had evaporated.
I know our chief scout has links with Rangers so I just hope we don’t go down this road. I expect Boyd to join Forest permanently if they do manage to go up through the play-offs but if they don’t, Boro will surely look to off load him elsewhere.
This for me has all the memories of a Rob Earnshaw signing. Earnie wasn’t a bad player, you just never really felt he was going to stick around and the same could be said of Boyd. He’s not made the grade in England and I’d hate him to try and take advantage of City by trying it with us in the Premier League.

Three: Andy Reid, 28, Sunderland.
A player who has destroyed Norwich on a couple of past occasions, notably for Charlton in 2007 and with Sunderland in 2009, Reid has always been a capable performer. He’s short and played for the Republic of Ireland and has a mean shot on him, but that’s where the similarities with our star midfielder Wes Hoolahan end (even though Reid is listed as the same height and weight as Wes!).
Reid has recently been at Blackpool but has hardly done much to keep them up. Two years ago I’d have been delighted if we’d signed someone like this, but now this is exactly the sort of player we don’t want: a player whose career has stalled, whose living on past glories and would expect big wages.
We’ve got the Premier League’s Irish magician in Wessi, we don’t need a chubby imposter on our books as back up.

Two: Robert Green, 31, West Ham.
Another popular name being thrown around is dear old Greeno. Whether West Ham stay up or not there are probably at least 15 Premier League clubs who would sign the former City man at the drop of a hat and, like Bellamy, he has no loyalty to Norwich anymore. Norwich can’t compete with the bigger clubs, such as Arsenal or even Manchester United, who could be interested so let’s not get carried away that we can. There are plenty of other ex-Norwich goalkeepers out there who would be better signings than Green and while I’m not suggesting that signing David Marshall or Fraser Forster would be a good idea either, I think a possible move for Matt Gilks wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

One: Craig Bellamy, 31, Manchester City.
Let’s put this one straight to bed. Norwich don’t want to sign Craig Bellamy and the chances of him coming to Carrow Road are slimmer than Simon Whaley joining Barcelona. Bellamy is largely paid by Manchester City’s millions yet nailed his colours to the mast last August when he signed for his home city club Cardiff. Had Bellars signed for Norwich then, we’d surely have expected him to cast the money to one side and sign for Norwich full time. But he’s Cardiff’s man now and it’s 11 years since he left Norwich. Let’s hope he stays at Cardiff in or out of the Premier League.